Apples & Pears Property Management Phone Log, Thursday Oct 15, 2015 [Fiction]

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What you are about to read is a work of fiction. Any resemblance between the people listed below and lunatics you might happen to know personally is entirely coincidental and unintentional, although also hopefully funny.

Time Building Unit Assigned Details
2:03am Roscoe 19 Martin Locked out.
2:22am Hirsch 32 Martin Hallway smoke detector beeping.
3:01am Chase 3R Pete Lights are out on back porch stairs 2nd to 3rd flr east
3:05am Chase 2R N/A Someone is stomping around on the back porch
3:10am Chase 3R Martin Locked out.
7:09am Cullerton 2F Pete Slow drain
7:15am Damen 28-C Pete Slow drain

8:04am Keeler 3B N/A Mr. Pierce would like us to note to file that Ms. Sheridan is walking her dog in the yard without a leash.
9:45am Troy N/A Pete Dumpster is overflowing.
11:34am Keeler 3B N/A Mr. Pierce would like us to note to file that tenant in 2D is putting glass bottles in the regular trash dumpster.
11:42am Hirsch 30 Martin Hallway smoke detector beeping.
1:22pm Chase 1F N/A Kids in 3F are throwing chunks of hamburger meat off the balcony
2pm Keeler 3B N/A Mr. Pierce would like us to note to file that Unit 3A's bell pepper plants are encroaching on his porch space.
2:13pm Montrose Garden Pete Squirrel in kitchen cabinet. Tenant wants reimburse for peanut butter consumed by squirrel.
4pm Keeler 3B N/A Mr. Pierce would like us to note to file that the tenant in #1B is walking around naked in their apartment in full view of anyone who passes by.
4:12pm Roscoe 42 Pete Broken toilet seat (4th time)
5:47pm Harding 2 N/A New tenant concerned about very hot spot in center of stove. Explained pilot lights to him.
6:28pm Keeler 3B N/A Mr. Pierce would like us to evict the tenant in #1B who has placed a notice in the window reading "F off Pierce"
6:37pm Taylor 204 Towing Parking space blocked by scrap hauling truck
6:52pm Montrose 2C Olly Kids nuked a bunch of DVDs, microwave needs repair.
7pm Keeler 1A N/A Mrs. Juarez reports that Mr. Pierce just put out an entire loaf of bread for the pigeons and spent 10 minutes chanting the prayer of St. Francis in the backyard.
10:47pm Damen 22-C N/A Tenant in 22-D reports that his neighbor in 22-C is drunk and roaming around the halls wearing just a towel.
10:54pm Cullerton 1F Olly Locked out.
10:59pm Damen 24-A N/A Tenant reports that someone just tried to open their front door.
11:04pm Roscoe 19 Olly Locked out.
11:20pm Damen 22-C CPD Tenant in 22-D reports drunk towel guy from 22-C is now running around the yard shouting to be let back in.
11:22pm Troy 306 Olly Locked out.
11:25pm Damen 12-C Olly Large ceiling water leak in bath.
11:45pm Damen 22-C N/A Tenant in 22-D says drunk tenant has broken open his kitchen window with a brick and crawled inside.
11:53pm Hirsch 25 Martin Hallway smoke detector beeping.
11:57pm Damen 22-C N/A CPD wellness check reports tenant has passed out in the tub with the water running. Paramedics have been called.
11:58pm Taylor 307 Olly Locked out.

Published by

Kay Cleaves