A few weeks ago I posted an article about ways that renters blow their shot at finding a good apartment by failing to properly prepare for their showings. You guys loved it, you shared it, you liked it on Facebook. So today I've got a follow up!
Getting to the showing is one thing. But there's also a lot of mistakes you can make in the lobby and hallway before you get to the apartment. Your agent will be watching for signs that you'll be a good renter. Fair housing standards do not include "people who act like jerks" as members of any protected class. If you pull stunts like these, you could certainly be turned down for an apartment.
If you want to be absolutely sure to give the worst possible impression, these are the steps you should be sure to follow. As before, all of these mistakes are taken directly from things that renters did at my own showings over the course of 10 years in the rental industry. Enjoy!
- Let the front door slam behind you on the way in.
- Read all the names on the mailboxes and ask the agent about any foreign-looking names.
- Walk up the stairs so close behind the agent that you can smell their deodorant. Tell them they look hot. Ask them for their number. Mention how much you like their earrings, necklace, purse or phone.
- Explain to the agent that you have 8 more showings after this one today. Do not take any pictures or video to help jog your memory later.
- Ask if any cops live in the building. Bonus if you refer to them with derogatory terms such as "pigs" or "spooks".
- Make any reference to your need to leave the area, buy a home, or do anything that would substantially lower your income over the next 12 months.
- Don't pay attention to anything in the hallways or lobby. The showing doesn't start until you get into the apartment.
- Complain about mezuzahs or Christmas wreaths on the doors of the apartments as you pass by.
- Complain about your wicked bad hangover. At 3pm.
- Discuss any unconventional conspiracy theory. Bonus if you talk about being abducted by aliens or how your current landlord is really a lizard.
- Tell the agent that you used to be a rental agent too, and that you hated the job. Alternately, say that there's no way you'd ever want to be an agent and that you hope their boss is paying them well. Bonus points if you can slip in "lying for a living" or the word "slumlord" anywhere in this part of the conversation.
- Let the front door slam behind you on the way out.
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