Distrust and Mistrust

There has been a lot said in recent news about various elements of society, both local and global, acting to create an atmosphere of suspicion and aggression within U.S. society. The Russians are currently the focus of much collective wrath based on testimony that there was a Russian government-sponsored effort to create "news" items, memes and posts on popular social media sites, riling up certain elements of the U.S. population in an effort to spread misinformation and mistrust. This is something that has actually been occurring for some time, and it certainly isn't the exclusive province of the Russians. Propaganda is a weapon in the arsenal of any small group looking to affect the momentum of a larger population, and not one to be discounted or underestimated.

As the owner of a company that admittedly makes money because people have trust issues, I wanted to take a moment to mention that there is a slight but important difference between distrust and mistrust. Both have the same end result: a mindset of distrust or mistrust means encounters with others cannot begin with the assumption that they are acting in good faith. Every interaction spurs the instinctive fight-or-flight reflex. However, distrust is earned, while mistrust is assumed.

Here's a mnemonic for you. Distrust is definite. Directed, deliberate, based on demonstrated reasons to suspect the motives of distinct individuals, businesses or groups. Mistrust is maybe. It is based on memes, media and murmered gossip.

Here are some examples.

Distrust: You need to break your lease. Your lease clearly states that the cost to get out early is 3 months' rent. You missed that bit when signing the lease and wind up having to endure a very large unexpected expense. Going forward you make a point to read every single word of every contract you sign, even if it means your lease signing appointments last for several hours.
Mistrust: A friend of yours has a very hard time getting out of their lease and complains about it on Facebook constantly. Because of this, when you wind up in a situation where you have to break your own lease you approach your own landlord on the defensive with a lot of hostility, even though your own lease has a lease break fee of just 2 weeks' rent.

Distrust: You are a landlord. You rent to one tenant sourced from a local social service agency, who gives you nothing but excuses when it's time to pay the rent. After three months you file to evict them, and have to go through a 6 month court case to get them out. Going forward you make a point to avoid other tenants from that social service agency.
Mistrust: You are a new landlord inheriting your father's properties. Your father had a policy of never renting to single mothers because according to him, they never pay the rent on time and always have some whiny excuse. Therefore, going forward, you also refuse to rent to single mothers.

Distrust: You dislike your landlord because they are overly strict, invade your privacy, and have the ability to set rules on how you go about your private life within your home.
Mistrust: You dislike your landlord because you saw cartoons as a kid depicting landlords as greedy evildoers with twirling mustaches.

There are, of course, other examples beyond the world of apartments.

Distrust: The only person you can recall from growing up that went into the military was the kid that used to beat you up for your lunch money. Therefore you cannot trust any members of the military.
Mistrust: The lyrics of all the songs you listened to growing up preached peace, love and disarmament. Therefore you cannot trust any members of the military.

Distrust: You filed multiple reports with your local politicians about a dead tree in your front yard. They ignored you. The tree eventually fell down causing lots of damage. Next time an election rolls around you vote against the incumbent because he obviously does not have your best interests at heart.
Mistrust: Immediately before an election you see a bunch of posts on Reddit claiming that there is a secret cabal of politicians that have drafted new laws that will result in a flat income tax of 90% on the entire population. Next time an election rolls around you vote every one of those politicians out of office.

Distrust: Your state enacts a law stating that individuals convicted of drug-related misdemeanors cannot stand for public office. They broke the law, therefore they should not be in charge of creating laws.
Mistrust: Your state enacts a law stating that followers of [minority religion] cannot stand for public office. Because they do not believe in [insert deity here], they must believe that murder is generally a good idea and therefore they shouldn't be making laws.

Obviously these examples are all quite extreme. In reality it can be much more difficult to determine the reasons behind our suspicions of others. The important thing to take away is, if you find yourself in a situation where you are unable to assume that someone else is acting in good faith you need to take a moment to recognize why you feel that way. If it's because of distrust, that's probably justified, although it isn't a fantastic situation by any means. If it is because of mistrust, you need to be able to let it go.