23 terms you might find in a lease (and what they really mean)

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It's Friday at six in the evening. You're at a fancy conference table in the landlord's office waiting to sign your lease. The fluorescent light gives everything an unnatural brightness. There is a cheap print of a Van Gogh painting on the wall, someone is clicking their pen in a cubicle in back, and the office smells like someone had tacos for lunch. You just want to go home.

Then the landlord's employee hands you a thick stack of paper, and says “Everything in there is pretty standard. I'll give you some time to look it over.”

You have that moment when you really want to trust that this person is telling the truth, to just shuffle through the pages, sign here, initial there, and be done. A little voice in your head whispers, “Who reads a lease anyway?” Continue reading 23 terms you might find in a lease (and what they really mean)

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Jon Hoferle

10 Signs That Your Landlord Isn’t Just Another Greedy Scumbag

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Landlords get a reputation for being greedy people who will raise the rent at any chance while doing little to maintain their buildings. We think that the ideal landlord cares about the building and the well-being of the people who live in it, and we think that these caring landlords do exist in large numbers. Apartment hunters should be on the lookout for clues that a landlord feels this way. Here are ten things to look for in a building owned by a landlord who cares. Continue reading 10 Signs That Your Landlord Isn’t Just Another Greedy Scumbag

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Jon Hoferle

15 questions that keep Chicago renters awake at night

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For anyone who lives in a vintage apartment building, daily life presents certain unique questions that people who live in other types of buildings may not ask themselves. There's something unique about living close to others in a space that's less than brand new. The floors are creakier, the plumbing is older, the appliances may or may not be from this century...all of these things can influence the questions inside the mind of a vintage apartment resident. The following is a list of some of these questions.

1. If the pilot light on my stove goes out, will I die? Or just feel really good and then get mild brain damage?

Image by Homini on Flickr
Image by Homini on Flickr
Continue reading 15 questions that keep Chicago renters awake at night

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Jon Hoferle

14 Awesome Quotes about Apartments (From Comedians, Authors and Philosophers)

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There's very little comedy in apartment research. That's probably for the best. I don't think anyone would find it funny if our reports ended with "Ha ha, just kidding." However, it's important to laugh sometimes, so this week I've scoured the internet to find funny quotes about apartments and apartment life. Here they are. Continue reading 14 Awesome Quotes about Apartments (From Comedians, Authors and Philosophers)

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Jon Hoferle

RENTO: A fun new game for your apartment hunt

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Apartment hunting can be difficult and exhausting. The average renter has to research apartments, make appointments, deal with weather, make small talk, climb stairs, and enter a bunch of strangers' homes, each time not knowing what is waiting behind that apartment door.

Without a lot of luck, renters have to repeat this process several times before they find the right place. We can't make that any easier. We can make it slightly more fun.

Introducing RENTO.  It's like bingo, but the letters actually stand for something: Residence (Apartment), Environment (Building), Neighborhood, Tour (Showing), and Owner (person who shows the apartment). Get five squares in a row to win. It's fun for all ages! Refresh this page to get new cards! Thousands of combinations are available.

$2 per laundry cycle", "rooftop deck is closed", "Keurig in leasing center", "fake flowers", "fire doors standing open");
shuffle($hoptions);

array_push($noptions, "car with boot", "car with ticket", "loitering kids (summer) / dibs (winter)", "graffiti", "someone walking dog", "someone pushing stroller", "someone yelling in a non-emergency", "sidewalks in disrepair", "blue light police camera", "Starbucks", "man in tight pants", "siren", "drunk or high person", "nearby vacant house", "someone talking on cell phone", "taqueria", "street construction", "man wearing pastel shorts", "parking permit sign", "bus/train sounds", "liquor store");
shuffle($noptions);

array_push($doptions, "car with ticket", "double parked UPS or Fedex truck", "bike lane", "graffiti", "divvy station", "someone walking dog", "someone pushing stroller", "someone smoking", "siren", "someone talking on cell phone", "nail salon", "dry cleaners", "convenience store", "billboard", "Starbucks", "street construction", "chocolate smell", "car horn", "someone wearing a tie", "utility spray paint on sidewalk");
shuffle($doptions);

array_push($toptions, "tenant not home", "tenant home, displeased", "tenant home, friendly", "awkward moment ", "one room off-limits", "you explore apartment unsupervised", "neighbors audible", "phenomenon defying explanation", "shoe removal required", "unexpected loud sound", "cat present", "two people speak at the same time", "floor creaks", "ceiling fan rattles", "living insect appears", "something gets broken", "everyone present laughs", "a phone rings/vibrates", "unscheduled guest", "rain or snow", "water sounds behind walls");
shuffle($toptions);

array_push($ooptions, "disheveled, confused", "checks phone", "can't answer question", "says something offensive", "too much perfume/cologne", "is late for appointment", "mentions local restaurant", "wears glasses", "has hairy knuckles", "has key trouble", "forgets your name", "smiles constantly", "mentions CTA", "shares neighborhood trivia", "trips", "apologizes", "mentions previous appointment", "has food/beverage", "mentions street parking", "asks where you're from", "has a cold");
shuffle($ooptions);

?>

Basic Version

R E N T O
Free

Downtown/High Rise Version

R E N T O
Free

Inspired by Chicago Apartment Hunting Bingo on Kay's old real estate blog StrawStickStone.

Published by

Jon Hoferle